There’s a special place in hell for the person who made assembly necessary. Or there could be a place in hell for those too lazy to assemble their own furniture. Either way, I hate assembly!  It’s my own personal form of torture.

I am redoing my living room as you know (see gallery wall posts below). This chic coffee table with mid-century overtones went on sale and I snapped it up. While I’m exciting to get the table in my apartment, I am dreading assembly. Most could easily put together a coffee table, but past experiences have taught me that even the simplest assembly is not within my skillset.


I have an eye for style, the ability to lift the heaviest of items, and can coordinate a room like no other. But why can’t I assemble furniture? Maybe God thought I would be too arrogant if I was blessed with that gift. Luckily I have a buddy who is excellent at assembly. One call and one dinner should be enough to get him over and to work. Don’t judge me.


Jared Johnson


Oh, I Don’t Do That.


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